Hey everyone! I've been trying to think of what to write this week and I am not exactly sure what to do. I don't want this to be super depressing but I also want to be real about what my mission is like and quite frankly this week was depressing, like more than depressing, so I won't go into as many terrible details as I could but I'll just kinda recap. and hopefully, as the weeks go on they get less depressing.
Monday: I left CCM and was very very sad to be leaving my companion and district. I flew all day Monday and met some cool people and gave a Book of Mormon to the guy next to me on the plane. He found me on Facebook and wrote me today and I guess he started reading it but said he is not interested so there's that.
Anyways I arrived Tuesday morning in Uruguay and it was exciting but I realized how far away I was from home and that kinda started the downhill spiral. Guys, I am SO FAR AWAY!!!
Okay, I am literally out of time to send this so I'll see if I have time later to do a better recap but basically, without details this week was rock bottom for me. I have never felt so alone and depressed I mean like beyond depressed. I have had no appetite and can not breathe very well most days and every day I have just wanted to go home. Like, so bad. Like, a fetal-position fight-or-flight panic response, get-me-out-of-here kind of thing. It has been very terrible and it honestly is still pretty awful but I have had so many people cheering me on and supporting me that it is now possibly doable in my mind.
I knew a mission would be hard, but this has been unimaginably painful/hard. I wanted to explain more about this week and things but I am out of time so I will later. For now I guess I should just say that I am serving in an area called Pan De Azucar and La Capuera and my companion is from Ecuador and nobody here speaks any English.
It has been tough. Real tough. But I am learning to take it hour by hour to help me survive. I have learned this week that it is necessary to rely on the Savior and that I am very very grateful for everybody supporting me. I genuinely could not survive without the support. Thank you everyone and I wish you all the best!!
Today we got to go out to Punta del este to meet up with some sisters to do an exchange so that I can vent a little in English and maybe cheer up a little. I am extremely grateful for my family who is cheering me on even though they are so far away.
I can't say I'm through it yet because I'm still struggling, but hey, I have technically survived my first week here, and that is something. Also, I don't have time to check this for spelling errors or add all the pictures or explain everything I wanted, so sorry this is kinda a terrible email but I guess it reflects on how I've been this week.
God is good and loving and I am very very very grateful for my family's and friends' support.
Love you all and truly hope things are going well for you, way over on the other side of the world. Send me any advice or things to cheer me up, please!! Seriously crazy grateful for my family they have helped pull me up from rock bottom and helped me survive.
Love yall,
Hna Bailey
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