Wherein Sadie Realizes It's a Blessing to Be a Missionary!

                                                                                                January 30, 2023

Hey yall! 

This week was good and went by pretty quickly. Here's some things that happened.

I left the house like 3 times without my tag this week. Oops.

Our area consists of pan de azucar, la capuera, and a little town called kilometro 110. Tuesday I got to plan our day and decided we should go out to km 110 since we had not been out there yet. It's a 2-3 mile walk to get out there on just a long country road with nothing. So no shade. We got there knocked on a few doors, nobody answered, and then we walked another few miles to lunch and then a lot after lunch going to lessons and contacting people. We normally walk a lot but this day was different because there was zero shade and we didn't stop at all to talk to people on the way cuz it was just a straight field. It was also a little disappointing because nobody even answered so we didn't talk to anyone. Bad planning oops. I haven't been in charge of planning since then haha. Anyways, I got fried that day. So bad. It turned into a big blister so that was exciting. But the rest of the week was super chill and relaxed and we didn't walk very much. 

One day our bus broke down on the way back from La Capuera. We were sitting there on the side of the ruta for like 10 minutes when I was like I should just start talking about the gospel and start handing out pamphlets. But it took me like 5 minutes to build up the courage and then right as i was getting the pamphlets from my comp to start doing it, a new bus showed up for us and everyone left. Bummer. Next time I will act faster. 

So the first day we showed up here, there was this stuff in the corner of the room and some more in the corner of the doorway of our bedroom. I wasn't sure what it was and thought maybe it was like some type of poison or something that keeps bugs out. It just looked like a bunch of little pebbles or something. However, day after day I watched and this week I finally realized it's not a good thing. It was getting bigger and bigger and bigger. So finally we sent a picture to a senior couple here and they said it was an ant hill! EWWWWW!! it had gotten so big. So we went to the store and got a poison and instructions on what to do. I swept up and removed the ant hill! Ugh. And then put the poison down. However, the next day, it was back! These ants literally work so fast it blows my mind. We will leave in the morning and come back a few hours later and it's big again. It is kinda impressive but also absolutely disgusting. Also i really did use up the bottle of raid so that's unfortunate. And there's a spider in the window that i haven't killed yet but i watch it every day and make sure it hasn't come inside yet. My goal is to kill it this week. Oh the things I'm learning that I never expected.

We have had some good visits with our friend Maria whose husband passed away. Also another one of our friends from the hospital passed away. I've learned the word fallecio real fast. Also the more we visit the hospital here to teach our friend, the harder I pray nothing happens to me. A little sketch haha. 

We lost our friend Maria inez. She was progressing so well and we had just set a date for her baptism and now we haven't seen her since. Tough.

Our friend Franco has been making friends in the branch and came to church again and is hopefully going to be baptized next sunday!! Pray for Franco please! 

Our little friend lucmila is the cutest ever and in her desire to be baptised, she is reactivating her mom. She sends us pictures and voice messages that brighten my day! 

We had a branch activity on Saturday and got to stay out late! And we ate hot dogs. Some branch members that have some beef with each other kinda got in a little fight and that was super awkward but other than the activity was great! I'm still trying to understand the mate thing. Like the branch sits down together and starts passing around mate, drinking out of the same straw! Ew. Germs. And it's like so much caffeine and they drink it late at night i have no clue how they sleep! Maybe one day I'll try it but for now i'll sit and enjoy the idea of the relaxed atmosphere of sittin and sippin 'mate together without actually doing it.

Something people told me when I was preparing to come to Uruguay was to bring seasoning because the food is bland. I didn't understand at first because I thought the food was pretty good. And it is, but I realized this week that I flavor my food with mayo now. So ya the food is bland but atleast it's not like gross. It just needs more flavor and the most flavor you can get here is mayo apparently haha. 

We also had a multizone conference on thursday so that was good to see people and be with other missionaries! We talked a lot about working with members so that's what we are trying to do now! Though we don't have many active, we are trying. Yall should work with the missionaries in your area!

Something fun that I came across in my studies this week is a talk from my grandpa Groberg in a general conference. Every morning I have been trying to write down a few goals I have for the day. Usually simple things like drink 3 bottles of water or compliment my companion once, or do a full hour of language study (yet to accomplish this),etc. And every day I have been writing "patient and kind" as a goal. Then the other day I read a talk from my grandpa and one of the things he said in his talk was about being patient and kind. That was just a fun connection to me. Like my mama says, "it's more important to be kind than to be right". And for me that takes a lot of patience right now.

Living with a person you barely know, in a place where people only speak a different language than you, across the world from your family, with lots of bugs and crap and walking down streets getting fried and constantly sweating is not easy and not really fun, but this week I have been able to shift my perspective easier and have found joy in the work. Sometimes it is actually fun. An adventure at least. 

When I focus on others, whether it be the people I am serving or my companion's needs instead of mine, or my family that will receive blessings from my service, it is a lot more doable and a lot more enjoyable. There were some days this week that I just thought wow how cool is it that I can be here doing this right now. This is awesome! Those are good moments. And sometimes that thought is forced. Kind of a fake it till you make it kinda thing, but it works anyways because I've had a lot more enjoyable happy moments than I was having before. I decided to stop waiting to have a better situation to have a better attitude and decided to be the positive that i wanted to have around me. A mission is really a rollercoaster. But we don't have to wait to get to the top to start screaming lol. That was a bad analogy but anywaysss

We honestly didn't work much this week. Every day was kinda slow but I am stoked to work hard this next week. I am trying harder to work on my Spanish and to really focus on the people. People always ask if i am going to learn spanish or uruguayo lol. The castellano accent makes it a little different.

I also love learning from other missionaries in our zone. I'm always hyped and motivated after meetings with them. 

This week we get to go to Montevideo and have another training meeting so I am excited for that!

January was one of the strangest months of my life. I feel like a different person in a weird way. Like i've just been through and experienced things that i haven't before and when i look back on me even in the ccm a few weeks ago i just think awww how happy and clueless lol. But I have learned and grown so much in a good way and am looking forward to February and the good things and the learning moments that will come with it.

Oh also there have been some wildfires in the "mountains" in piriapolis and surrounding areas so everybody has been praying for rain. Hopefully this week we can get some!! We got a few drops this morning finally. I think the fires have been put out for the most part but we still need rain also i am praying for yall freezing in idaho and utah!!

What a blessing it is to be a missionary.

Vamo Arriba! 

Love yall a lot and praying for you!! Remember God is mindful of you.

Hermana Bailey

Also im going to stop apologizing for these being long and random lol its my english rant that i get to do once a week

Spider count: no idea like 6 maybe but really the fat one in the window i need to kill

Pictures: comp, branch activity, hot dog, sunsets(Ok i love the sky so beautiful sunsets or cool clouds make me so happy. Little blessings from God), broken down bus, something of charles darwin out in the middle of nowhere, and the ant hill just a little while after cleaning it up. 

Wherein Sadie Lives with Ants and Cockroaches.

 January 23, 2023

     Hey everyone! How are y'all doing? Today we are having our first pday just staying here in our area and getting stuff done. This week was a rollercoaster of emotions as always, but compared to my first week it was better and went a little faster so that is a win. 

       Here's a little (edit: really long) recap:

  Last Monday we had pday as a zone and had lunch and a water fight. The elders cooked up some steak and it had so much flavor it was bomb. 

Tuesday: We went to Maldonado for District Council and we left super early because that is when there was a bus leaving from here but then we ended up being late to district council. Basically my companion is very directionally challenged and there's trust issues and long story short we walked for over an hour in the wrong direction and at the time the meeting started we were on the opposite side of the city. Super fun.This day really tested my patience. I was very frustrated and ended up telling her that we were going to get a taxi because we would miss all of the district council if we didn't. So we did and I have never been more grateful for a car.

    Also Tuesday morning we woke up to find MASSIVE ants all over the kitchen and crawling around in the sink. Then we went to leave and there was a cockroach outside the door. Tuesday was rough to say the least.

Ok the other days are kinda a blur so I will just say what happened without a specific day. 

     We had a lesson with our amiga Maria Inez and she had previously said that she wasnt ready to be baptized but she was still very interested and has been reading the Book of Mormon and learning a lot. At the beginning of our lesson, she was like ok so the 5th of february right? And we were like wait what? So ya she put herself on date lol. But then she went on to rant to us for like an hour about some deep doctrinal questions. I had no idea how to answer them not even in English, so I just tried to remind her to have faith. She kept ranting and we kinda gave up a little about the baptism date and then at the end of the lesson she looked up to the sky and said ok i trust in you God I will have faith like she said and I will be baptized. So that was really cool! But then she didn't come to church on Sunday so she can not be baptized on the 5th. 

     Our little friend Franco, who is almost 12 years old, came to church on Sunday!!!! And he was asking a lot of questions and wanted to know how he could participate in passing the sacrament. I am grateful for the member family that stepped up and brought him and made him feel welcome. Literally couldn't do this without members like that.

      We have an amigo that we visit in the hospital here and the other day as we were waiting for him to come outside, we sat in the shade near this door to the nurses office and while we were waiting, a nurse popped her head out and asked us if we have a church here in pan de azucar. Turns out she is an inactive member and she has a little 8 yr old daughter that has been asking her if they can go to church. We got her number and sent her the location of the church that night and her daughter responded in a little voice message and said thanks. I am excited and I will see you there. Then she sent another message and said Oh and by the way I am 8 yrs old. Haha she is the cutest ever and wants to be baptized so badly.

      We are also teaching this older lady who is so deaf. You have to pound on her door while ringing the doorbell and yell her name so loud like 20 times to get her to answer. I gave myself a blister on my knuckle from knocking on her door so hard the other day. It makes me have to be confident in my Spanish though when we teach her because you literally have to yell what you say. Usually what happens is i yell something and then she looks at my companion and yells back no se que ella dijo. so that's awesome lol. 

        Also I think i am bad luck or something because in the second week here when i was on exchanges, we went to meet 2 points and when we showed up, their spouses said they had just passed away. Sad. Then this week in our area, we went to visit this lady and we have been trying to visit her for the last 2 weeks but everytime we go it is her spouse that is there and talks to us and tells us that she was busy or said to tell us she was atleast haha but he kept telling us to keep coming back. Deep down he knew they needed our message. Anyways we showed up this week and she was sitting out front and turns out her husband died. So that was very sad, but I am grateful he kept telling us to come back. We are teaching her the plan of salvation now.

      Anyways, the food here is really getting to me now and my stomach is not very happy, and I have had some blisters but those are getting better, and also cat allergies, but that too isn't too bad. Also getting pretty sunburned but using sunscreen so not too bad. This week really brought out all the super fun things that come with serving a mission here haha. Especially with all the bugs. After one of the long days of walking, we got home and i went to change into my sweats, and there was a huge black cricket thing in my drawer in my clothes that jumped out and it took me like 30 minutes to kill. What a day. My companion is worse than me with bugs and stuff so i have really had to step up and be a big girl otherwise our house would be infested. I found a botle of raid spray and have used almost the whole bottle this week. that about sums it up. 

       Oh this week there was a day that just started bad. I was really having a hard time. I was frustrated with my companion and just homesick again and not having it, and i was just praying to get through each hour, and suddenly as we were turning a corner someone in their car started talking to us and it turns out they are members in the ward that we hadnt met yet and they lived in utah for like 20 yrs and dont really speak english but just that small connection made me so happy. Then later that day, we went to visit them at their home and in their bathroom they had this bottle of handsoap that looks just like the ones my mom buys. Maybe theyre from costco or something idk but it made me stupid happy to see that bottle of handsoap. I asked where they bought it and sure enough it was from america lol. never thought soap could make me so happy.

Also that day as we were walking to the church, another couple called out to us and ran up to us and yall, they are from here but they also lived in Utah for like 25 years and they were just coming back to visit and had gotten off at the stop in the middle of nowhere by our capilla. Talking to them made me feel so much better. Before they left the husband put his hand on my shoulder and said, take care, paciencia. He understood how i am feeling and his reminder to be patient in all regards is what i needed. There is just something about talking with someone who gets it. Who understands and is a connection even in the slightest way, to your home. I dont even know their names, but that was a tender mercy. They were literal angels for me on the corner that day, who crossed our path at the perfect moment. God is mindful and He sends us angels. 

      This week we have learned a lot about the struggles with the church in this area. It is not a strong area and there are problems beyond our control, but what we can do is try to strengthen the members so that is what we are going to do. It is hard to not be surrounded by a strong ward family, but we are doing our best to create one. Also yesterday i spoke in sacrament meeting. I just read it all, i mean i do that in english too lol, but it went alright i think. The branch president said after that my spanish is 95 percent understandable and if i can do that in less than a month of being here, then nothing is impossible with God. I definitely have alot of room to keep improving and it's one of my goals to work harder with the language this week. Also we learned this week that our area is kinda dangerous, but we have avoided some interesting situations and i know we will continue to be safe as we are obedient and listen to the Spirit. Also I am terrified of the dark and the last hour of our day that we need to be out working is so dark and scary but the Lord helps me get through that too.

      Anyways, this week was pretty ok and when it wasnt good and i had hard moments, I was able to get through. I use so much of the advice i got from all of you. I feel kinda mentally fragile right now. Like if we are out working and being busy I am ok but when we have down time or if something goes really wrong, then i can start to lose my good midset and start spiraling down. All your advice really helps me get through those moments though and i feel more confident knowing I am capable of getting through. I feel the strength of the Lord with me and the support of you all because of your prayers and love. Thank you so much for the continued messages and thoughts and prayers. I feel them and I am so thankful! It has been a week of lots of prayers. Prayers of patience, and a softenend heart, prayers of helping get through the day, prayers of love for people i have a hard time loving, prayers of helping my mind stay focused and my mind and heart not be anxious. And prayers of no more bugs and prayers of gratitude and prayers of a lot more haha. I think the oddest thing is just that I fel like brain is just not prcessing things yet. Like I will be walking down the street and think like woah this is literally what I have been dreaming of doing my whole life and now i am literally here...and it kinda sucks...but at the same time i am so happy and grateful to be here.

    I do not feel comfortable here yet, but that must mean I am growing, so I will keep taking it one day at a time focusing on what the Lord needs me to do and to become.

     My aunt shared a talk from Elder Holland with me this week and there's a quote I love. 

"There is a cost to discipleship" 

A good thought that soothes my worries and helps me feel better. Elder Holland is acknowledging that there is a cost. There is a sacrifice. But that cost is worth it when we love the Lord.  And we will always be blessed for it.  

      Oh, also I made it to 2 months as a missionary this week!

Pictures: 

My gratitude journal

My 2-month celebration haha

Coke

Sunburn

Bugs

And more!

Spider count: idk but honestly not too many just other bugs instead

And as always I am very grateful for P-days when I get to talk with my family. They are the best.

Also because this is already ridiculously long I am just gonna keep going. I miss my scooter and I hope somebody is keeping the scooter Thursday at least somewhat alive. Oh wait, it's winter there, my bad. I will revive "Scooter Thursday" when I get back.

Love you all so much!!! 

Hermana Bailey

Wherein Sadie Has a 24/7 Call with God!

 Hey everyone! I just need to start this email with a big huge THANK YOU to everyone who has reached out with advice, love, encouragement, and support! Your messages got me through each day and helped me keep at it. I will respond to all of you. It just might take a few weeks because P-Days end up being so busy haha. But seriously a big thank you! I am so grateful for all of you. I am very blessed. 

Now I cannot honestly say that I'm loving it yet, I still struggle every day, but this week was better than last week so that's a win!! I have learned a lot as I have taken things a day at a time and sometimes an hour at a time and just focused on the tasks right in front of me. 

       The biggest thing that made this week doable was always having God with me. It was seriously like a 24 hr call with God every day. I was constantly praying, saying "Thank you for helping me do that, now please help me get through the next 5 minutes".  "Ok, thanks for helping me get through that lesson or thanks for helping me not yell at my companion, now please help me be able to say something at this next contact". All the long walks were full of conversation with God and every day was completed thanks to His love and support and the love and support of all of you!

    Something that I hear all the time is that God loves us and is mindful of us. For some reason I have always kinda skipped over mindfulness, but this week that really stuck out to me. It's not like God just loves us and will be happy when we return with Him someday, He loves us individually and is mindful of our every good hour and bad hour and He is with us every step of the way. I am grateful to always have Him. 

    

     Another thing that helped me get through each day is your messages. Every morning I would just go through and write down what you said in my notebook. It keeps my mind occupied and full of positivity and love. Thank you so much, I am so blessed to know you all.

     Something I have learned from your messages this week is that it's okay that I'm not ok and that I don't love it yet. I keep trying to shift my mindset and remind myself that this is only a year and a half of my life and I am going to miss it one day, and sometimes that reminder helps and I am able to shift my mindset. But also I have learned that it's fine to not love it yet and I don't need to pressure myself to love it immediately and be enjoying every second. I have faith that if I keep doing what I can, (even if right now that is just to simply survive another day), then one day it will get better and things will change. 

     I am doing everything in my control to be happy. I have never worked so hard to be ok, and I know eventually it will work out. I have never prayed so fervently. I am grateful that time moves forward no matter what so if I am having a just survive day, time doesn't stop. I do not need 18 months' worth of good days, I just need to make it through 18 months. 

    Some random lessons I have learned, experiences I have had, and blessings I have seen. I am terrible at writing these emails on time so they are always rushed so I am sorry about that, but here's a little recap of things from the week and also last week too.

     When I first got to Uruguay, they sent us to a hotel to rest. I ended up in my own room. Nice, ya? Well not really. Being sleep deprived, jet lagged, and alone in a hotel room in a country across the world without any means of communication and not even a clock to tell what time it was, led to psychosis. Haha jk. But really I have never felt so terribly lost. It felt like a bad dream. But then like 4 hrs later my roommates for the night showed up. They had just arrived from the Brazil MTC. One was Brazilian and one was Italian and we were all just learning Spanish. It felt like one of those jokes. Like, an Italian, Brazilian, and American all walked into a hotel in Uruguay together and tried to speak Spanish. I'm gonna be a pro at charades by the time I get home.

     Also the other day my trainer told me I had to ask for directions. We have to do this a lot because the map in Area Book is pretty messed up. So I got the courage and walked up to this guy sitting on a bench and asked him for directions and was so proud of myself because it came out right and then the guy just stared at me. Paused. And said "no hablo Español". I was shook, but I was like "Oh haha, you speak English"? He shook his head. Y'all, the first time I built up the courage to ask for directions in Spanish I asked a guy who speaks Arab. Something I'm learning is that communication is important but dang languages are crazy.   

     We are teaching a homeless lady and it is simply a miracle every time we find her. She doesn't have a working cell phone and she only comes into town to get food from the soup kitchen, so we always try to catch her when she is going to get food, but she never goes at the same time! So we just pray we will find her and we have been able to find her on her bike in various places throughout town and teach her. She is reading the Book of Mormon right now and loves the gospel.

    The other day I was struggling pretty bad when we came across a bunch of kids and they basically asked us to teach them. They are so fun and we have lessons with them a lot now

Here are some random excerpts from my journal:

 "It is still so hard and I know it'll be harder going back to Pan de Azucar and not being able to speak any English again (this was during exchanges), but everybody thinking of me, praying for me, and rooting for me helps me feel better. It is like we are all in this together. The anxiety is bad. It is so hard, but I am taking it one day at a time, one hour at a time. Relying on the Lord."

"Got in my head again this morning and afternoon, but we went to work at 5 and like the first 10 people didn't answer. But then we found the cutest little miracles. Little Niko, Majo, Maxi, and Soi made my heart so happy. They wanted to learn about the gospel and at one point asked about what happens after death. Hermana Vincent mentioned her grandparents who have passed away and in that moment I felt like Grandma was there watching and listening and helping. Then I looked up and saw their pink rose bush and it was just perfect."

"Ok so basically some challenges are that the branch here is not very strong, so we are trying to work on strengthening the members in the ward.

Another issue is transportation to the church because we have an area far away and buses don't really run on Sunday and a lot of people don't have cars.

Also, I am really struggling with my companion. Like really, but I am learning patience and just doing what I can to love her."

     I have tonsssss more to say but am out of time. I think I will try writing my email throughout this next week so that I can actually send what I want next week. But anyways, thank you for all the support and love and prayers. I feel it all and am so very grateful for all of you. I miss my family a lot a lot, but am grateful I get to talk to them on P-Days. 

   Much love and prayers to you all. Whatever you are going through, remember to talk to God, take it one day at a time, and fake it till you make it.

Love, 

Hermana Bailey

Wherein Sadie Has the Longest Week of her Life!

 Hey everyone! I've been trying to think of what to write this week and I am not exactly sure what to do. I don't want this to be super depressing but I also want to be real about what my mission is like and quite frankly this week was depressing, like more than depressing, so I won't go into as many terrible details as I could but I'll just kinda recap. and hopefully, as the weeks go on they get less depressing.

   Monday: I left CCM and was very very sad to be leaving my companion and district. I flew all day Monday and met some cool people and gave a Book of Mormon to the guy next to me on the plane. He found me on Facebook and wrote me today and I guess he started reading it but said he is not interested so there's that. 

   Anyways I arrived Tuesday morning in Uruguay and it was exciting but I realized how far away I was from home and that kinda started the downhill spiral. Guys, I am SO FAR AWAY!!!

    Okay, I am literally out of time to send this so I'll see if I have time later to do a better recap but basically, without details this week was rock bottom for me. I have never felt so alone and depressed I mean like beyond depressed. I have had no appetite and can not breathe very well most days and every day I have just wanted to go home. Like, so bad. Like, a fetal-position fight-or-flight panic response, get-me-out-of-here kind of thing. It has been very terrible and it honestly is still pretty awful but I have had so many people cheering me on and supporting me that it is now possibly doable in my mind. 

     I knew a mission would be hard, but this has been unimaginably painful/hard. I wanted to explain more about this week and things but I am out of time so I will later. For now I guess I should just say that I am serving in an area called Pan De Azucar and La Capuera and my companion is from Ecuador and nobody here speaks any English.

    It has been tough. Real tough. But I am learning to take it hour by hour to help me survive. I have learned this week that it is necessary to rely on the Savior and that I am very very grateful for everybody supporting me. I genuinely could not survive without the support. Thank you everyone and I wish you all the best!! 

    Today we got to go out to Punta del este to meet up with some sisters to do an exchange so that I can vent a little in English and maybe cheer up a little. I am extremely grateful for my family who is cheering me on even though they are so far away. 

   I can't say I'm through it yet because I'm still struggling, but hey, I have technically survived my first week here, and that is something. Also, I don't have time to check this for spelling errors or add all the pictures or explain everything I wanted, so sorry this is kinda a terrible email but I guess it reflects on how I've been this week.

  God is good and loving and I am very very very grateful for my family's and friends' support. 

Love you all and truly hope things are going well for you, way over on the other side of the world. Send me any advice or things to cheer me up, please!! Seriously crazy grateful for my family they have helped pull me up from rock bottom and helped me survive. 

Love yall,

Hna Bailey